SAYANG’
MANILA, Philippines — “It was truly a Southeast Asian word, soft as its people and well-understood from Marang to Manila, Surabaya to Sulawesi, Kuala Lumpur to Kota Kinabalu. It describes a love bound to sadness, a tenderness trembling on the edge of tears, a passion from which pity could not be detached….”
That was the late Gopal Baratham, a Singaporean writer, explaining why he chose “Sayang” as the title of his love story and novel, published in 1991. I can see why he was inspired by the word, which does have many meanings in the languages of Malaysia, Indonesia and the Philippines.
In Bahasa Malay and its fraternal twin, Bahasa Indonesia, “rasa saying” is the feeling of love. It is also a term of endearment, used to refer to a loved one, as we do with our “Honey,” “Mahal,” “Labs.” Yet, the word does have one other meaning familiar to Filipinos: When a Malay or Indonesian goes “sayang sekali,” it means “what a pity!”
In the Philippines, we’ve only kept that last meaning. We sigh our “saying” — what a waste, what a pity — in many contexts, from having to throw out uneaten food, to having put in time, effort and money for a task, or a person, and getting nothing in return. It figures, too, in love when it is hapless, unrequited or — let me sigh again — betrayed.
Explore, with me, this thing called love, through a linguistic excursion in our part of the world, and I’ll show all that isn’t that contradictory.
‘Mahal’
The English word “love” is too simplistic. “Sayang” is more powerful in describing love, not as one emotion but as a confusing mélange of joy, bliss, euphoria, all fluidly intense and constantly threatening to spill over into fear, despair, even rage. Baratham was, incidentally, a neurosurgeon and I wonder if he thought of how “saying” explores the complex neurological wiring that is love.
Early in love, we say in English, we’ve fallen. Maybe we say we fall because we let down our defenses. Swept up by love, we say we fall. In Tagalog, we are more specific in saying “nahulog ang loob ko” — my inner self has fallen. By locating love as an inner feeling, we declare it to be deep, and consuming. Note that famous, or infamous, “utang na loob,” anemically translated into reciprocity, gratitude. “Utang na loob” is compelling in the way it binds people’s “insides.”
Conversely, when we describe falling in love as a falling of our inner selves, we come close to describing ourselves as captivated, captured, kidnapped, held hostage. Happy in love, we also admit fear and trepidation.
Why does the ebullient Filipino turn inwards when it comes to love? Perhaps it’s because we take love’s risks quite seriously. Across cultures, we know love has its risks, its costs. Why do you think our “mahal” (also used in Malaysia and Indonesia) means both “love” and “costly” … and the English “dear” means both “love” and “expensive”? Mahal magmahal, it’s dear to want to dear, and be held dear.
But I’d suggest we take love’s risks even more seriously than others because in Southeast Asia, we have to negotiate this love, and in Southeast Asia, women have the upper hand, at least during the stage of courtship. The titles in a 1950s album of Ruben Tagalog love songs, presumably sung by men, are revealing: “Awit Ko’y Dinggin” [“Listen to My Song”], “Sa Gitna ng Dilim” [“In the Darkness”], “Kay Lungkot Nitong Hatinggabi” [“How Sad, This Midnight], “Di Ka na Naawa” [“You Have No Pity”] and “Umaga na Pala” (It’s Morning), and I’m sure this didn’t mean a good morning.
Even today, our love songs can be bleak, often on the brink of despair. I wonder again if this is because our love songs are almost all written by men, and men know that courtship can be an uphill battle in the Philippines. Ironically, because men are perceived as unfaithful and treacherous, Filipina mothers warn their daughters: don’t say yes unless you’re sure the man loves you more than you love him.
Even when a relationship moves into “m.u.” (mutual understanding), we can never be sure. In the 1990s, “mutual understanding” meant you were now in an exclusive relationship; these days, I am told, m.u. only means the two parties have expressed and accepted each other’s intent, an agreement to try the possibilities of a relationship. There is some kind of commitment, some kind of favored status, but m.u. also means you can still see other people.
I actually think today’s m.u. is probably healthier, better than the way young people used to fall in and out of love every other day. Today’s m.u. is perhaps more mature in the way it acknowledges that when we fall in love, our body’s hormones and assorted chemicals go berserk, confounding and blinding us to the reality that the passion of initial love is actually quite tentative. We might end the day madly in love, whispering “Sayang, sayang” in its Malay/Indonesian meaning, and then wake up the next day, suddenly wiser and go, “Sayang, sayang” in the Filipino sense.
‘Hati hati’
Note how, in Tagalog, we differentiate two extreme feelings, “dalamhati” and “lualhati.” Both words are related to terms found in Malaysian and Indonesian languages as well. “Hati” is, alternately, the heart or the liver, referring to the seat of our emotions. “Dalam” means inside, so sadness is that feeling you have inside you, languid and lethargic. “Lual,” on the other hand, means the outside, graphically situating the pleasures of joy as radiating outwards.
Both “dalamhati” and “lualhati” figure in Filipino love, and tell us something about how we handle Cupid. In English, we warn people in love: “Be careful, use your head and not just your heart.” Our languages suggest a wiser alternative. The admission of having fallen, “nahulog na ang loob ko,” acknowledges too that our “loob” will shelter that love. Still fragile, budding love needs to be introspective, even sad in its uncertainty. It’s almost as if we fear that proclaiming love to the world, even in whispers, endangers its prospects. But that might all be for the better: gently sequestered, love is more securely nurtured.
The many meanings of “saying” show how we play on “dalamhati” as a kind of defensive pessimism, but which eventually shows itself as “lualhati”: We smile, and the world knows.
Our part of the world does not make the sharp distinctions between head and heart as we find in the West. Our “hati” — whether heart or liver — is not just about emotions. In Malaysia and Indonesia you often see street signs that read “Hati2″… that’s “hati-hati,” literally heart-heart, or liver-liver, but which actually means: Caution. When we say we fall in love, “nahulog ang loob ko,” we are being “hati-hati,” cautious, but not in a cerebral way. Instead, we feel our way around, “pakapakapa,” through love’s maze-ways.
The word “saying” captures those meanings: You are my loved one, but permit me too some defensive pessimism. Deep down, we wonder about the risks we’re taking, but we allow ourselves that mad fall. No pain, no gain. It’s “sayang,” too, if we don’t dare “sayang.”
By Michael Tan
Philippine Daily Inquirer
Philippine Daily Inquirer
Many of our love songs are indeed very deeply expressed and difficult to translate into English or perhaps some other languages..for us Visayans..how can you translate into English ..”Ay ay kalisud”? what is ay ay in English? “Waay angay” there is no comparison?…and “ang nagaagay ko nga luha”…my flowing tears?
and on the lighter side..leron leron sinta.. buko ng papaya..or sitsitritsit alibangbang…but all these songs that may seem to be a nonsense tells of our fun loving spirit..a happy bunch of people..full of laughter..iba nga tayo…
Rose;
This is a good language lesson.I got this from my e-mail.Nagandahan ako sa topic kaya ipinablis ko agad.My children will love to read this.Di bale i post ko dito ang mga pics nila at kayo ang humusga kung pwedi silang maging artista.
Luto muna ako ng dinner.Nabago na pala ang oras akala ko ay 6pm lang 7 na pala.Aawayin na naman ako ng mga anak ko at takbo sa kentucky.Good diet sila dahil ayaw ko silang maging obese,sila ang future investment ko.
Rose,
Another nice topic na naman itong kay Parecoy. While nagiisip ako ng tamang ipoposte, isingit ko muna itong some English song titles that can sound so funny and outrageous when translated in Tagalog:
Imagine – Mantakin Mo
Bluer Than Blue – Malapit Na Sa Hukay
Tonight’s The Night – Patay Kang Bata Ka
Power of Love – Buntis
Can’t Be With You Tonight – Meron Ako Ngayon
Don’t Let Me Be The Last To Know – Huwag Mo Kong Gawing Tanga
You Should Know By Now – Alam Mo Na Dapat Ngayon Yan, Tanga!
Sometimes When We Touch – Minsan Kapag Tayo’y Naghihipuan
Touch Me In The Morning – Hipuan Mo Ako Sa Umaga
Stairway To Heaven – Mula Paa Hanggang Singit
Got To Believe In Magic – Walang Himala
Total Eclipse Of The Heart – Maitim ang Puso
King & Queen Of Hearts – Tong-it Na Ko Sa Jack
Macho Man – Walang Ganyan Sa Opis
Pretty Woman – Walang Pa Ring Ganyan Sa Opis
***
Pareng Joeseg;
Okey iyan.Ngayon mo lang ata inilabas.Binabasa ng anak ko sa laptop niya at napapatawa siya.Hehehe!
rose,
those songs that you mentioned above are not nonsense but songs of love in a novelty way noong panahon ng kundiman.
para sa akin, ang alinmang bahagi ng ating sining kinagisnang nagpapakita at tumuturol sa kaugaliang pilipino ay hindi isang balewala lamang kundi pamanang dapat pahalagahan ng ating kabataan.
dapat ituro sa kanila kung ano ang isang napakabusilak na bahagi ng kasaysayan ng lahing pilipino na nagsimulang lambungan nang mauso ang rak en rol ng bitols (beatles), ni elbis presli, mga balads nina mat monro, nat kong kowl.
kundiman nating isang yamang maituturing na pinalitan nila ng OPM hanggang nitong huli ay pap at ang ating mga tulang pinalitan ng rap at hip hap na ewan kung paanong naging sining eh mukha gago’t sira ulo ang ayos ng mga naglulundag.
gayundin, ang ating mga katutubong sayaw ng pag-ibig na pandanggo sa ilaw, tinikling, maglalatik at kung ano ano pang tinabunan na ng mga sayaw nina luningning, mariposa at milagring.
haaaay!
Macho Man – Walang Ganyan Sa Opis
Hahahahaha! Ibato ‘yan sa opis ni Nerissa!
There is a Pinoy resto in VA beach that plays Pinoy Kundiman. Minsan ay nabubulunan ako dahil sa nakakabagbag damdamin naman ang kanta nila. Ang aking peborit ay yung “Ang Pipit”. Nakakaindak!
Patok na patok ang resto na yun, ang daming white servicemen na lumalamon!
Saan ba ako napunta e linguistics pala tayo ngayon.
Anyhooo, ang tunay na meaning ngayon ng “mahal” sa Pinas ay saksakan ng mahal ang pagkain na hindi kayang bilhin ng mga poors! At si Guria ay mataas lang ng katiting kay Mahal pero ang greed ay lagpas sky.
Joeseg,
Tune lang ang aking natandaan, kung meron kang You-tube ay gusto ko uli na marinig. O kaya ay write mo lang dito ang lyrics. Marami akong ibong pipit sa aking backyard.
Tuluyan na akong binarahan ni Kisme sa kabila. Ikaw na lang muna Cocoy ang makipagkapitbahay dun at kailangan akong kumuha ng abogado para ipagtanggol ako kay Kisme! hehehe!
Siguro ay papalitan ko ang alan kong Chi pagpasok ku uli dun.
Joeseg, ano ba ang magandang alan na hindi mahaharang ni Kisme?
chi,
congratulations, este my sympathy nga pala.
ako din, ilang araw na ayaw tanggapin ang mga post ko ng kung sinong sipsip na kisme na ‘yan.
bunga ng aking kawalang oras para mag-isip para sa paglahok sa talakayan dito (kasama na rin ‘yung kawalan ko ng pag-iisip, he he ehe) ako ay nangongopya na lamang muna ng mga maaaring makabawas sa inis ng bawat isa dulot ng mga “magagandang pangako” ni gloria. eto ang isa:
THE ‘POLITICAL NOISE’ OF MUSIC
Dr. Jose B. Biescas
Filipinos are music lovers. They enjoy their singing and combine it with fun as ‘pulutan’ (ang wala sa grupo ay pinag-uusapan) and wine as ‘laughter’ (‘patagalin mo na sa suso, huwag lang sa baso’).
They are also fond of singing even in the pond. “Planting rice is never fun/ Until you sow it in the pond.” Or humming joyfully in the rain. “Rain, rain go away/ Come again another day.”
In times of crisis, the musical FLAIR of Pinoys is easily noticed like a FLARE of rainbow after a shower of rain. “Raindrops (of international embarrassment) keep falling on her head/ That’s what we want so GlorYeah can instantly leave.”
This international embarrassment came from the World Bank on ‘overpricing,’ UN Alton’s Report on “extra-judicial killings,” and the 2007 Transparency International ‘index of corruption’ where the Philippines is ranked #10 in the world and # 2 in Asia.
“She’s leaving on a jet plane/ I don’t know if she’ll be back again.” But one this is bound unexpectedly to happen: when the noise of her ‘political crimes’ (starting from the discovered ‘power grab’ in 2001) are repeatedly chanted and became a symphony to DAZE one’s ears, her DAYS are already numbered.
This jester-writer advises the reader to cultivate the value of laughter for it has a therapeutic effect. Like an apple a day, it should also be taken daily to keep the doctor’s knife away.
Here’s a MITE, a bit, fact about laugh, which MIGHT interest the reader: “Laughter gives excellent internal massage to the digestive tract, enhances blood supply to the liver, spleen, pancreas, kidneys, and adrenal glands” (‘Women’s Scope,’ September 2007, p. 22).
Hence, may I remind the reader not to take the jokes in this corner personally. S-he should also watch out not to make the GIGGLE like an intense GIGIL. Otherwise, s-he will suffer the consequences. I hope not.
Lastly, Jonathan Shapiro, a South African award-winning cartoonist, has this to day:
“If you use humor, there is this little synapse thing in the brain that makes those insights exciting and digestible, quick and full of impact.”
at eto pa:
JOY TO THE WORLD
Joy (read ‘a national embarrassment’) to the world
The World Bank’s rant
(That the $232-M soft loans, not grants or aids, huh, was suspended for the Phase 2 of the National Roads Improvement and Management Program due to ‘strong signs of collusions and excessive pricing’)
Let earth unveil more SINS
(SINCE the year 2000 or earlier)
Let every heart (who personally know the scams or kickbacks like the present expose of Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago on the geothermal power plants sale for Palinpinon 1 and 2 and for Tongonan 1)
Prepare exposing all the wrongs.
Repeat the sounding lie (‘I will not run’)
Repeat the sounding ‘bribe’ (the payola on October 11, 2007)
Repeat, repeat the unsounding deal (the ZTE-NBN).
O, Magsaya at Magdiwang
(Puwede rin ang Magdalo. Kaya lang, after the Manila Pen siege, ingat lang kayo)
Pagkat malapit na (s’yang umalis)
Ang reyna ng lahat-lahat
Ng ating kagutuman
Ng ating kahirapan
Ng ating kalungkutan
Ng ating kasawian
(at higit sa lahat), ng ating, ng ating ‘moral bankruptcy’.
kahit malayo pa ang pasko:
YOU’RE ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS
You’re all I want for Christmas
To restore the rule of law
And give us peace and goodwill
Compel her (to ‘constructively resign’) will you.
HE’LL be home for Christmas
To HEAL the Achilles’ HEEL (of GlorYeah)
Otherwise, she will get hell and then go to the hill.
He’ll be home for Christmas
To check if my dream has come true
For whatever is conceived
Do the best and believe
Pray and fast to achieve it
God will WREST the REST for you.
eto pa uli:
WHITE CHRISTMAS
I’m dreaming of a white lie
Just like the one I used before
(where I said I will not run for the 2004 presidential election)
Where the tree tops glisten (with economic progress and political stability)
And children listen
To HEAR (our First World destiny) is HERE to stay.
bago magkalimutan:
ONLY YOU
Only you can make the darkness bright
Only you can make the FALSE FALLS true
Only you and you alone can thrill me what to do.
And did it my way (like):
A: Arrested and handcuffed members of the media for ‘processing’
B: Bombed the Batasan Complex
C: Convicted Erap of plunder
D: Danced the Cha-cha again
E: Filed a yearly ‘bogus’ impeachment complaint
F: Gave cash-gifts in the Palace doorsteps
G: Made fake evidences
H: Produced suspects, victims and witnesses
I: Sieged the Manila Pen
J: Took possession of the other assets of Erap, and
K: Name it. I can do it.
For only you/ can make this change in me.
There’s a Tagalog song titled “Sayang”. Remember?
Penchanco
Here’s the Tagalog song SAYANG by Claire dela Fuente whose voice has been compared to Karen Carpenter:
Ano ba namang kanta ‘yan, Joeseg? Bakit, ayaw na ba niya sa kanyang waswit? Ang dali naman niyang magsawa! Binubugbog ba siya? Walang dahilan kasi e basta na lang siya na in-labs sa ibang lalaki. Ang landi naman niya!
Kalimutan niyo na si Claire de la Fuente. Tuta na ngayon ni GMA iyan.
joseg: maganda yong isinulat mo..nawala ang sakit ng ulo ko.
Magno: hindi ko alam na they were kundiman songs..kasi they sounded nonsensical pero we loved singing them. Noon hindi ko naintindihan pero ngayon galit na galit ako:
..”Negritos of the mountains, what kind of food do you eat..”
..” I was poorly poorly born on the top of the mountains..”
..”planting rice is never fun..”
they are so negative..
Hanggang Grade 4 lang ang alam kung Filipino songs..and then when we had a chorale group and that was after college…and very few kundimans..kaya ngayon naghahabol habol ako..
Magno: Binalikan ko at kinanta..t he words of Leron Leron Sinta are words of endearment..the Western Visayan songs kasi are sad..Ay Ay Kalisud, Walay Angay, and Dandansoy Bayaan ta ikaw…
Magno : Puede mo ba gawin na song hits yon mga sinulat mo ? At mag caroling tayo sa Palasyo…
rose,
gaya nang sinabi ko sa itaas, kopya ko lang ‘yun na ang sumulat ay binanggit ko rin sa unahan.
meron pang kasunod ‘yan.
THOSE WERE THE DAYS
Once upon a time there was a PALACE
Where s-he (like PALLAS or Athena, the Greek goddess of wisdom) used ‘to raise a glass or two’ (read: it’s euphemism to wine, dine, and woo her allies and friends, her generals and bishops)
Remember how s-he laughed and laughed
(With gusto), s-he ran to the door, and when no one’s there (s-he laughed and laughed alone, as if) ‘there’s no tomorrow for someone like her’
And dreamed of all the great things s-he would do (for example, the super maids, the super regions, the super China deals, and the super economic status of the First World)
Those were the days my friends
We thought (her alleged ‘lying, cheating, and stealing’) will never end
Until her term expires in twenty-ten.
We live the life s-he chooses
We fight and always lose
For s-he will gag, (impose the ‘executive privilege’) or use the CPR (calibrated pre-emptive response)
Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la
Hala, mag-WRITE ka na
And make it sure
(The RITE of passage is RIGHT).
MY WAY
And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friends and countrymen
I’ll state my case of which I’m certain
I planned each uttered thought
Each careful phrase which included the following:
(“Hello, Garci. ‘Yung dagdag, ‘yung dagdag!… I am sorry. I only called to protect my votes… Do not accept the bribe, but approve the contract… to the ‘impatient few,’ wait till 2010… I’m a pretty good economist, but a very bad politician”).
And more, much more than these
I said it my way.
Oh, no! oh, NO not me (I hope you KNOW)
Who said these nuggets (of wisdom).
http://www.abante-tonite.com/issue/dec2407/main.htm
o, ayan, rose. nad’yan pati ‘yung link kung saan ko napulot ang mga ‘yan.
hindi lahat ng pino-post ko ay ako ang orihinal. mabibilang sa tatlong daliring putol ang mga tula, kanta at dyowks na iniaambag ko dito ang tunay na akin.
Naalala ko tuloy si Sayang, of Surabaya, hehehe.