Memo: To all ET bloggers
From: Manny Pacquiao
Special Ambassador for Peace & Understanding
Concurrently, Special Assistant, Department of Justice
Master Sergeant, AFP
I read with chagrin your multifarious comments in this blog and I am definitely not amused not even my beloved President, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo who is befuddled by the atrocity of your litanies in besmirching my reputation.. It’s full of uncalled for innuendos not to mention the grammatical error compounding the misplaced syntax. Its incongruency however made me cringe in muted amusement that, perchance, you are just following my success in boxing but many of you are not aware of my doctorate degree received from a Cebu University and for that matter, everyone of you here is still not within my caliber in so far as the clear elucidation of the matter at hand.
I would like therefore to call your attention that in promulgating your esoteric cogitations or articulating your superficial sentimentalities and amicable philosophical or psychological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity. Let your conversational communications possess a compacted conciseness, a clarified comprehensibility, a coalescent cogency and a concatenated consistency. and all conglomeration of flatulent garrulity, jejune babblement and asinine affectations. Let your extemporaneous descants and unpremeditated expatiations have intelligibility and voracious vivacity without rodomontade or thrasonical bombast. Sedulously avoid all polysyllabic profundity, pompous prolificacy and vain vapid verbosity.
If you are really interested to know, the above means: “Be brief and don’t use big words..”
Now, you know.
Sgd: Amb. Manny Pacquiao
I posted in my blog the new item that a few hours after boxing great Manny Pacquiao was named ambassador of peace and understanding by Gloria Arroyo, Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez appointed him “special assistant to the Secretary of Justice on intelligence matters.”
Gonzalez’ order said Pacquiao, who holds the rank of master sergeant in the Armed Forces of the Philippines, “may coordinate with the National Bureau of Investigation in the enforcement of this mandate.”
In a matter of minutes, my blog, which is classified as political, turned hilarious.
Anna, who is based in Brussels, asked, “Is this a joke?”
Chi, who is in the United States, said “Naninindig pati ang mga buhok ko sa ulo! Susmaryosep, saklolo!”
AnnDiego K. Guerrero said, “Anak ng jueteng, James Bond 0010 na si Manny.”
Rose made it better-sounding: “Agent 0210.”
When you are so frustrated and feel crying, the best antidote is laughter. Wendell immediately caught on and wrote this script: Malacañang created a new office named OGAG – Opis ng mga Gunggong na Alipores ni Gloria. Its mandate is to produce laughing matters.
Someone came up with a brilliant idea that since Pacquiao downed Ricky Hatton in two rounds, he will be given only two positions. One is “Special Ambassador for Peace and Understanding.”
This came about because someone asked Pacquiao about peace and order in Cotabato. The boxing icon replied: ” We hab mini pis but the order, few.” They expect Pacquiao to negotiate with fish vendors to lower the price of fish.
Wendell said the position of “Special Assistant to the DOJ Secretary for Intelligent Matters” has to be created for Pacquiao because “Kulang na kulang talaga sa ‘intelligencia’ ang DOJ. Hindi siguro naaambunan ng mga ‘intelligencia’ coming from jueteng lords and drugs lords.
Pacquiao will coordinate with Chavit and Bong Pineda, Alabang Boys, etc.
Wendell said Environment Secretary Lito Atienza will surely not allow himself to be left behind in singing hosanna to Pacquiao. He will soon name him also “special assistant.”
Mike sent this two-part Pacquiao interview.
Reporter: Sir, what exactly will you be doing as Ambassador For Peace and Understanding?
Manny: Tenkyu for asking me the question. Definitely and absolutely, I’m for pis. There are many pis all ober the Pilipins. The most famous pis is the pista, very celebrating absolutely. Everybody happy when der is pista. There is understanding in the world when der is pis. Absolutely.
Also, there is another meaning of pis in boxing. When I fight, I fight for the pis, I make pis with my enemies when I knock them out. I make suntok to Hatton’s pis. That is why his pis is not understanding to his mother. That is why I’m ambassador por pis and understanding. You understanding me? Tenkyu.
Reporter: Uhmm… whatever…..
Reporter: Sir, you are also assigned by DOJ to be a spy for the NBI.
Manny: Yes, absolutely. I will wear a costume so dat no one will understand that dis is pacman doing the spy.
Reporter: Huh? What costume?
Manny: Oh that, definitely I will wear spyderman costume. Very absolutely. By the way, I will aslo ask DOJ secretary to also appoint Freddie Roach to assist me because you know, I know and you also know, you know. I hope you know.
Reporter: Ahh.. No I don’t know…???
Manny: Well in dat case, I will also ask Lito Atienza and Chavit to join me in this team Pacquiao so that everybody understand. Oki?
I-Watcher said his Malacañang source told him that Pacman requested that Nanay Dionesia be appointed presidential assistant on ballroom dancing at DOJ special assistant on dance floor matters.
Elgraciosa said she called up her relatives in GenSan to congratulate them for having an ambassador. She said her GenSan told her they are “fried na fried.”
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