During my last vacation in the Philippines,I tried to experience the LRT. As I crammed myself onto a crowded train , I noticed there was a very pregnant woman standing near me, jammed in tightly and hanging on for dear life. I looked at the passengers sitting in the seats that are supposed to be surrendered to the elderly, physically challenged, and other people who need to sit, and all of them were listening to iPods. Most of them were also texting or reviewing email, and two people were talking about movies they just watched. Not one of them even looked up; everyone was too absorbed in what they were listening to, reading, or talking to even notice the protruding belly and flushed face of the pregnant passenger.
During our schooling.Mrs.Corpus taught as manners.In fact,we have a Good Manners and Right Conduct class.We even joined the Boys Scout and the girls also joined the Girls Scout, there have been countless discussions on minding our manners within our new modes of communication. Is it rude to text someone and ask him on a date? When is it appropriate to forward an email? Do we befriend someone on a social networking site we’ve only met once?
But while we’ve been debating the dos and don’ts of technology etiquette, it appears that many of us have forgotten some of the old school manners that our parents, grandparents, and teachers taught us—manners that have nothing to do with a keyboard or a monitor, but have everything to do with the long-forgotten Golden Rule. Maybe technology has eroded our brains so much that we can never go back to those golden days, but there are a few simple courtesies that I’d like to see make a comeback.
Hold doors for people.
This doesn’t just mean men holding doors for women—anyone who has the arm strength to hold a door for someone should. Holding a door shows that we’re paying attention to what’s going on around us and that we care about others even if they’re a complete stranger. That little bit of awareness also helps take our minds off the busy, crappy day we might be having. Plus, it’s a nice and unexpected way to pay it forward, kind of like smiling at a stranger. Hold the door for someone and someone else will hold it for you later.
Give up seats.
Giving up your seat to someone is so easy. Even when people don’t accept your offer, I think it’s nice to get up and stay standing so they know you’re sincere. The more that we become the good example, the more it will catch on.
Most of us were taught that it’s good manners to give up our seat to the elderly, pregnant, and physically challenged. But if we pay attention on trains, buses, in waiting areas, and other places where people stand, we might notice someone else outside those categories who could also use a seat—like someone carrying a bulky box or a heavy load of groceries. Common sense should prevail; if you see a situation where you think you’d prefer to sit, it’s a good idea to offer your seat.
Let those inside the elevator exit before you enter.
You know the scene. The elevator doors open and a crowd of people waiting to get on rushes toward you, making it difficult to get out. The onus of politeness falls on those waiting for an elevator, meaning they should clear the exit path for anyone getting off and not enter the elevator until it’s clear. Wait until all people exit is a good rule to follow before entering anything—restaurants, shops, dressing rooms, etc.
Mind your telephone manners.
Our chief etiquette concern back in the “olden” days of telephones was remembering to write down a message when someone called. Now that we can take our phones anywhere and use them to do scores of things beyond just making telephone calls, our problems have spiraled out of control. Obnoxious ringtones, picking up calls in public places, sending a text message when a call would be more appropriate, and subjecting innocent bystanders to inappropriate conversations are just a few common telephone missteps.
But that many of our phone snafus could be corrected if we’d follow one simple rule. Excusing yourself to take a phone call in a private place. We’re so used to people being on the phone now that this isn’t a common practice anymore. But what if we we’re in a place where we can’t step out to take a call. keep it brief and to keep the conversation appropriate. Making plans is okay,. But if you’re gossiping, talking badly about someone, or saying something inappropriate, those should be closed-door conversations.
Introduce people.
Walking up to a group of people and never getting introduced is awkward and rude. This is often a sign that the person who should do the introductions has forgotten a name, which makes a great case for simply asking the person in question to tell you their name again. It also proves that introducing someone with some details and flair makes a difference; the person on the receiving end of the introduction will have more information to use when committing a name to memory.
Say please, thank you, and you’re welcome.
It sounds simple, but the magic words really do work magic. Using them shows our appreciation for what someone is about to do or has done for us. Pretty much everyone says thank you, which is fantastic. But I would love to hear more people use ‘please’ and ‘you’re welcome.’ If I say ‘thank you’ back to you and not ‘you’re welcome,’ that’s overriding your ‘thank you.’ Our moms weren’t just being cute when they told us we would catch more flies with honey. “Please,” “thank you,” and “you’re welcome” are some of the sweetest—and most useful—words in our language.
Respect elders.
Recently someone I know well surprised me by saying that he thought respecting our elders was a silly courtesy since not everyone deserves to be respected just because of his or her age. But how about simply showing them civility and common courtesy? An elder is, by definition, someone who has lived longer than we have, so they’ve accumulated more experiences and thus, more wisdom. We don’t have to agree with their wisdom, but acknowledging that there might be some helpful information that comes from their experience is nice. It’s also considerate to express gratitude to a related elder who helped pave the way and/or care for you or a family member who came before you, such as a mother or uncle.
Hand write thank-you notes.
Paper correspondence in general seems to be a dying practice and unfortunately, handwritten thank-you notes are part of the casualties. I know I’m often guilty of sending a thank-you email when I’m pressed for time, which seems to have made its way on the list of accepted practices. But it’s that taking of time that really shows our appreciation. Anyone can send an email, but finding a nice piece of stationery or note card, handwriting our thanks, finding a stamp (who has those anymore?), and then getting to a mailbox to actually send it goes above and beyond in expressing our gratitude.
Sophisticated technology doesn’t mean that good manners have to be a thing of the past. In fact, good manners using three simple, everyday principles: consideration, respect, and honesty. Apply those to any situation and toward all the people involved—including yourself—and [the solution] will make sense.
sabi nga nila sir cocoy, the best lessons we learned are the lessons we took up in our kindergarten. simple rules but big responsibilities.
this include: love, respect, at takot sa dyos
Manong Cocoy,
All the things you have written here are the same things I want to experience everyday as I take the LRT and MRT going to work. It took an elderly man inside the communter train to offer his seat to me when he noted I had been standing for a long carrying a lot of things. Walang boy scout he said, dito ka na lang. Nangangawit na ang kamay ko sa kahahawak ng aking mga gamit kaya malugod kung tinanggap ang kanyang pagmamagandang loob. It may not be so but to me Lolong Mabait is just a few of the remaining members of teh vanishing tribe who still practice what they learned from the GMRC class of “Mrs. Corpus.”
Namatay na po iyong may AIDS na client namin, pasyal lang kayo sa aking bahay at nang malaman ninyo ang detalye ng kanyang kasaysayan.
Speaking of Good Manners and Right Conduct, kapag nagagawi kayo sa ming bahay ay sabihin lang po ninyo na hindi kayo collector ng MERALCO, MWSS, at telepono, pagbubuksan ko po kayo. At kung gusto ninyong mag-CR itaas lang ang kamay at sabihin, may I go out ma’am, hehehe.
Reading today’s topic reminds me of the book Etiquette written by Emily Post. It’s everything about right manners and good conduct. But since Emily Post lived between 1873 to 1960, the world is now very much different from her time and goes with it the good manners of yesteryears.
Happily for us Filipinos, the trace and remnants of what Pareng Cocoy would like to see a comeback is still being practiced, not much in the metropolis but go to the small town, like my home town and far flung communities. They still say po and opo and take the hand of the elders to say mano po. They still are helpful not just because the lady is beautiful but because they’re taught at home and in the school to be courteous and respectful.
In fairness, many Filipinos in diaspora with their families are trying hard to teach their kids the old Filipino ways back home inspite of having been exposed to the inanities of the modern society and advance technology. It is in this regard that we are gladdened by the fact those who are bashing their fellow Filipinos and the Philipines is just a small segment and still being outnumbered by those who truly love our country.
Nakakalungkot naman ang sinulat ni Segundina.Namatay na ang subject.Condolence na lang kay Angel.
Kung ayaw ninyong madali ng AIDS sundin na lang ninyo ang payo ni Cocoy dahil marami na siyang experience kung sex lang ang pag-uusapan.
Nagbibigay din ako ng Sex therapy sa blog ko.Magbasa lang kayo at tinitiyak ko sa inyo na pwedi na ang mga daliri para iwas AIDS.Hugas na lang kayo ng kamay kapag nilabasan na kayo.HIHIHIHIHIHIH.
Huwag ninyong isipin na kabastusan ang mga sinusulat ko doon.Nagbibigay lang ako ng libreng SEX education.
Pasaway na ang mga bata ngayon mahirap na silang turuan di tulad noon na may takot sila sa nakatatanda.Noon ay wala pang shabu.Ngayon ay nagkalat na,papano pa ituturo sa kanila kung bangag na sila at hindi na matino ang kaisipan.Mabuti kung magbibigay sila ng upuan sa mga buntis baka isnatshin pa nila ang cell phone at alahas.Lalo na sa siyudad.Sa probinsya baka pwedi pa.Napansin ko nga hindi na sila ngmamano. HI! HI! na lang.Iyung pamangkin dinagukan ko dahil walang respeto.Di natuto siyang gumalang.
Mikuwento ko lang, so far itong nakilala kong si EL-jr. ay napakabait, nagmamano sa aking ermat kahit hindi niya kaano-ano. Pati sa katulong namin namomo-po pa siya. Kapag umaakyat kami ng hagdanan ay nakahawak lagi sa aking siko, sana akbay na lang. Kung namamasyal siya sa bahay ay tatayo siya kaagad kung may lalabas ng mga matatanda para magbigay galang. At saka hindi siya uupo hanggang hindi pa ako nakakaupo. Marami pa akong naoobserbahan pero ang consistent kong nakikita sa kanya. Pakitang tao lang kaya ang lahat? Matanong nga ang kanyang tatay kung sa GMRC niya ito natutuhan o sa Day-Care Center ng Barangay, hehehe.
GMRC for me is not something which sticks to most of us. It should come as a “natural trait”. 100 percent is common sense and IMHO, I do practice all the above, especially holding the door for all ages. This act of honesty and kindness only takes a few second.
Sa Pinas, yung Ina raw ng bayan ang number one na walang GMRC. Dapat na parusahan ang nagiina-inahan na yan na siyang nagi-impluwensya sa mga anak na mandaya, magsinunangaling, magnakaw at mangorap.
sure thing :D here’s my URL
http://ultimatedrummerninoyz.wordpress.com/
Cocoy,
Nilakihan mo ang iyong photo, baka kung ano ang mangyari niyan kay maningning na hindi mo na pinapapasok sa CD. hahaha!!!
Magkakagulo na naman sila, hala ka!
Palagay ko po ang GMRC ay hindi lang sa eskuwela ito pinagaaralan at isinabubuhay. Malaking bahagi din po dito ang ginagampanan ng tahanan at komonidad. Maging ang simbahan po ay malaking bagay ang naiaambag nito para hubugin ang kaisipan ng mga tao na mabuhay na marangal, mapagpakumbaba, makatao, makabayan, maka-Diyos, makakalikasan, at mapagmahal sa kapwa tao.
Ang ina ang siyang unang guro na nagtuturo ng mabubuting aral para lumaking mabuting tao ang anak. Kung bastos ang ina, sinungaling, mandarambong, mangaagaw ng kapangyarihan, tamad, mayabang, mapagmalaki, makasarili, sakim, etc., mabuti pa ay hindi ka na lang isinilang dahil ito’y iyo ring mamanahin.
Malapit nang magtapos ang kasaysayan ni Banong. Abangan ninyo ang isang trahedya na nagiwan ng isang malaking leksiyon kay Banong para muli niyang balikan ang itinuro ng kanyang teacher noong araw tungkol sa Good Manners and Right Conduct. Dito niya napatunayan ang kahalagahan ng mga salitang “Thank you”, “be patient,” and “wait for your turn.”
Segundina,
Sa GMRC ay simple lang ang para sa akin, kung may tinatawag na management by example ay ganoon din iyan, teaching values and GMRC by example. Magpakita ka nang magandang ehemplo sa mga anak mo at iyon ang susundan nila hanggang sa pagtanda.
Iba naman kasi sa akin noong araw, sinturon ng tatay ko ang nagpatino at nagturo sa akin ng Good Manners and Right Conduct. Iyang si JR. ay hindi napapalo iyan noong bata ngunit lumaking disiplinado, may takot sa Diyos at sa mga magulang. May respeto sa sarili at paggalang sa kapwa. Nagpapasalamat din ako sa matanda niyang teacher noong kinder pa siya na naging idolo niya sa kabaitan at pagtulong sa kapwa.
I am asking apology from all of you.I accidentally deleted all your informative and excellent comments from the previous post.I encountered some technical difficulties in restoring the site in original setting.I am very sorry!
Good morning po sa inyong lahat. Greetings to all our friends around the world. May the blessings of our dear Lord be with you.
Good Manners and Right Condut to me is a combined a business by the school, family, and the community including the Church. I agree with the previous comments on this. But I would like to stress here that no amount of human action can transform a man except God. The Words of God is still the number one guide to raise a God fearing, socially responsible, emotionally strong, and patriotic citizen of this world. I agree with Kapitan that good leading and modeling are still the best way to teach GMRC.
Distantly related to the topic:
Majority of Filipinos support the Reproductive Health Bill. It is surprising that 76 percent of the Catholics interviewed in the survey support the bill. Do you believe in the survey results? Register your agreement of disagreement.
http://secondlady.wordpress.com
Sorry, I should say “agreement or disagreement.” Thanks.
Aren’t you surprised that Faculty members of a Catholic school also support the Reproductive Health Bill trying to put a crack on the position of the Church against the passage of the Bill.
Some have theorized that efficient teaching GMRC has also a bearing in the number of pupils to manage in the class; and disciplining children in the family is a little bit tough when you have a large family. Is there truth on this?